Untitled
First day of chem labs: uses gloves and goggles to measure distilled water
Last day of chem labs: spills silver nitrate all over hand and wipes it on pants
We know from daily life that we exist for other people first of all, for whose smiles and well-being our own happiness depends.
― Albert Einstein (via psych-quotes)

One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.

Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via kushandwizdom)

Lol love this

celestelr:

nowyoukno:

More facts at NowYouKno.com and don’t forget to Follow NowYouKno for more like this on your dash

Ahh, this is love
poochcrew:

Cuddle me hoooman

poochcrew:

Cuddle me hoooman

lovequotesrus:

Everything you love is here

lovequotesrus:

Everything you love is here

You saw a shirt for $97. You didn’t have the cash, so you borrowed $50 from your mum and $50 from your dad = $100. You bought the shirt, and had $3 change. You gave your dad $1 and your mum $1 and kept the other $1 for yourself. Now you owe your mum $49 and your dad $49. 49+49 = 98 + your $1 = 99. Where is the missing $1?
(via psych-facts)

straight-as-a-curly-fry:

komlin:

livingonmusicals:

komlin:

livingonmusicals:

komlin:

livingonmusicals:

ok y’all 

how do i ask a boy out 

roses are red
violets are blue
guess what, my bed
has room for two

OH MY GOD NO

twinkle twinkle little star
we can do it in a car

STOP IT

row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
i can make you scream

I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory

The truth is that often times those who suffer from this illness [anxiety] are beautiful souls who feel the depth of beauty in this world more acutely than many others and this sensitivity is why they love so deeply, feel the pain of others as if it were their own and why they are the poets, artists, dreamers, inventors, who taste the stuff of God in every breath, yet these powers when out of balance can create madness and chaos because of our sensitivity. Understanding that this illness is all about the sympathetic nervous system being out of balance and fueled by thinking patterns that are destructive was huge for me. To learn to let a thought float, to accept it, and pass through it, no matter how uncomfortable it was was pure poetry to understand…You are not alone. Remember it is often your beauty which can turn too deeply inward and creates over-sensitivity which when met with a serious problem/conflict can result in a nervous explosion. This is the way out, along with love from others, and the help of God where faith is already in place
SMSeattle review from “Hope and Help for Your Nerves” by Claire Weekes 

credit: beccar0ni.tumblr.com
(via psych-facts)
kushandwizdom:

Good Vibes HERE